Being Kevin’s girlfriend was fun. It was carefree, relaxing, hilarious and spontaneous. Our biggest worry was deciding whether to walk home from the bar or take Sober Driver. My spirit was so light – just like my wallet – and everything I enjoyed was within a 5 mile radius: booze, friends, cheesy gordita crunches…
Then we moved home, started working, got an apartment, got married, had kids, and somewhere along that journey, I forgot how to be his girlfriend.
Cute pajamas were replaced with old t-shirts and Walmart granny panties that were two sizes too big. Funny dinner conversations were replaced with verbal lists of everything that needed to be done around the house before bed. Nights out began with stress and anxiety about schedules and feedings and preparing and packing and packing and packing. Texts about the day were replaced with “S.O.S.” and nighttime talks began with “Please stop farting in the kids’ rooms, you’re making it hard for them to go to sleep.” << (okay that was just last night and it’s very serious)
It takes a fair amount of introspection to realize that you’re probably the catalyst for most of the issues that plague your life – at least for me. Letting my desire to create this “Norman Rockwell” life for our family had basically turned me into an exhausted monster.
4 years ago today, I stood on an alter across from Kevin and cried because I loved him to much. Without any words, he was able to see how unbelievably in love with him I was. It was that easy.
So why now does it need to be complicated? Why does “wife” love complicate the simple “girlfriend” love?
Why do I keep writing questions in my blog like Carrie Bradshaw?
We’re being too hard on ourselves – and frankly – probably too hard on our significant others. Underneath the heavy weight of kids and mortgages and schedules and work is the girlfriend he fell in love with. It’s time to go back to dating my husband.